Embracing Recognition

spotlightFame. Recognition. Spotlights. Awards, Trophies and Plaques. I have a love/hate relationship with these things. At times, I’ve coveted them. At times, I’ve hidden from them. At times, I’ve acted like I’m hiding from them, but in my heart, I was pridefully wishing for them so that the world could see what a “great leader” I am. That is difficult to admit, but when I really look at my heart, it’s been a struggle much of my leadership life.

So, last week, when The Garage Group was up for the Inc. 5000 list of fastest growing companies and the Cincinnati Business Courier’s Fast 55 award (fastest growing companies in Cincinnati), I was a bit stuck.

Colossians 3:23-25 says:

Put your heart and soul into every activity you do, as though you are doing it for the Lord himself and not merely for others. For we know that we will receive a reward, an inheritance from the Lord, as we serve the Lord Yahweh, the Anointed One! A disciple will be repaid for what he has learned and followed, for God pays no attention to the titles or prestige of men.

I read this verse at the beginning of the week, before any awards were announced. And I knew I needed to really check myself as we went into the week.

Not only did we make the Inc. 5000 list again this year, but we WON the Fast 55 award for Cincinnati as the fastest growing company in our revenue range. In fact, our growth tops the whole list, across all income ranges. (Of course, there’s some math in there that makes that much more likely, since we’re growing from the smallest base income range).

And the celebrating and congratulating began across the team and among our partners.

And I sat, grateful for an exceptionally busy schedule that was a perfect excuse for me not publicly sharing the news or celebrating myself.

I was deep in my own heart, doubting myself and asking whether I was feeling proud, or grateful and humbled. This went on for days.

I have a mentor, who routinely drops wisdom that stops me in my tracks and causes me to reevaluate things. Several days into my internal conflict, I got this text from her:

“Just saw Business Courier! Garage Group! #1! Sweet. Congratulations! Explosion will continue! So proud of your leadership. Embrace the recognition!”

Embrace the recognition.

Matthew 5: 14-16: Your lives light up the world. Let others see your light from a distance, for how can you hide a city that stands on a hilltop? And who would light a lamp and then hide it in an obscure place? Instead, it’s placed where everyone in the house can benefit from its light. So don’t hide your light! Let it shine brightly before others, so that the commendable things you do will shine as light upon them, and then they will give their praise to your Father in heaven.”

This type of award garners lots of attention. Like a bright spotlight. And the uncommon leader has a choice. To hide from the light, or step into it, which is actually what we’re called to do. To truly impact and influence for good, we must step into the light and embrace recognition.

All of us are attracted to light. In the dark, we stumble around to find a light, so that we can see clearly to find our way. We seek the sunlight to warm our skin and lift our mood. Think about the folks you most want to spend time with – they are likely those that are radiant, positive and joyful – light (which is not at all related to weight or skin color!). They often help us to find joy in the midst of sorrow, clarity in the midst of confusion, peace in the midst of chaos, or a path forward in the midst of the muck.

And this understanding is part of what makes the uncommon leader so uncommon. She or he embraces recognition, without pride or gloating, but with a confident, humble understanding that the stage and the spotlight aren’t at all about themselves, but rather the platform we are given for something so much bigger than ourselves.

These awards are simply a reflection of the truth that we hire and focus on growing amazing people; do great work with integrity and a measure of ownership, passion, and commitment; treat people with respect and dignity; and remember that it’s really about being obedient to use the gifts and talents we’ve been given in whatever way we’re called to do so.

The uncommon leader or company isn’t driven or motivated by rewards or recognition, but receives them humbly so that their light won’t be hidden.

So, I’m celebrating today!

Funny 3

This team is amazing. I am, every single day, blown away by our growth, by the incredible opportunities we have been given to provide jobs and nurture other leaders on our team and on our clients’ teams. And, I’m truly, authentically, humbled that God would choose me to do this. Most days, I recognize that I’m equally strong and weak, equally gifted and ignorant, equally smart and dependent.

Today, I’m uncommonly grateful and humbled.

 

The Fallacy of Our Addiction to Happiness

budMost of us understand that there is a difference between happiness and joy. Happiness is circumstantial, surface level, and temporary; while joy is pervasive, deep, and lasting.

Lately it seems our world is obsessed with the pursuit of happy. We want what we want NOW. We don’t want to work for it. Somehow we’ve been conditioned to believe that convenience and the ‘fast path’ to anything leads to happiness.

Stitch Fix brings in over $700Million as it has relieved us from the burden of shopping for our own clothes. (And, they look so good, so perfectly chosen and put together!)

We spend over $23Billion to have Starbucks make our coffee for us. (That perfect cup of coffee certainly does make me happy!)

GPS has practically eliminated the paper map that used to guide every family vacation. (Do we even know how to read a map anymore?)

We can send a text, emoji or GIF to communicate our feelings — much faster and less intrusive than a phone call or an in-person meet up.

Dating websites attempt to reduce the time investment of actual dating to find your perfect mate.

Look at the rise of ‘fast casual’ restaurants. Faster ways to get your pizza, burrito, sushi, juice, or smoothie.

We seem to be speeding everything up. Why are we trying to rush through everything?

The reason, for most people I talk to, is that we are in pursuit of something else.

Most of us believe that something else is ‘happiness.’

This is a vicious, endless treadmill. We are running from one temporary thing to the next. Happiness finds us for a few minutes, and then we look for the next ‘hit’ of this drug we’ve become addicted to.

But, joy is wholly different.

Joy is the deep satisfaction that comes after you’ve fought your way through a conflict in a relationship. After you’ve solved a challenge that required all of your thinking and all of your creativity. When you sit down and enjoy a meal that you created and cooked. As you work your way through growing a company, sale by sale or project by project; or grow your family day by day, month by month; through every win and every challenge.

James 1 says that “when it seems as though you are facing nothing but difficulties, see it as an invaluable opportunity to experience the greatest joy that you can! For you know that when your faith is tested it stirs up power within you to endure all things. And then as your endurance grows even stronger it will release perfection into every part of your being until there is nothing missing and nothing lacking.” (James 1:2-3, TPT)

Pursuing joy, then, requires that we pursue and welcome struggle and conflict and challenge and difficulty.

Truly, this is the something else that most of us are actually seeking. This depth of satisfaction; depth of contentment; depth of fulfillment.

Happiness will never quench this desire.

I could go on and on about the rise of depression and suicide and the demise of marriage and commitment and how all of this is related to our mistaken chase of happy in exchange for the work needed to find joy.

But, for now, the challenge, as uncommon-ers is to choose differently. To choose to pursue joy: to work through challenge; to stumble through learning something new; to take the seemingly longer, less convenient path and then, to celebrate and revel in the joy that we find.

*Note: About the image on this post: the beauty of a flower doesn’t happen immediately. It must be watered, get the right amount sunlight, and grow its way to the moment it finally blooms. What a beautiful metaphor for what’s needed to find joy.

 

 

 

Self-deprecation is NOT humility

self love

Being self-aware is not the same thing as being self-critical.

We live in a culture of self-deprecation as an expression of humility.

Leaders (and others) jokingly or seriously refer to themselves in the negative with adjectives like: silly, forgetful, un-informed, naive, dumb, unable to control themselves, hopeless, inadequate, weak, boring, un-important; the list goes on. Somehow we have come to believe this is humility.

So, stated another way, the act of mocking ourselves, scorning ourselves, hating ourselves has become our definition of humility.

Many will say that humility is the differentiator of the best leaders from the next best leaders.

We really have gotten this wrong.

You may have heard or read the Proverb: The Lord mocks the mockers, but gives favor to the humble. (3:34)

So, what does it mean to be humble?

Humility is recognizing that we have things to learn, that we aren’t perfect, and that others might be wiser than we are on certain topics — that we each have been gifted in unique ways. Ourselves included. It is walking solidly in the gifts, talents, strengths, intellect we’ve been wired with, while we recognize others gifts, talents, strengths, and intellect.

This definition of humility really is the differentiator of great leaders.

Favor comes with this definition of humility, because we are able to not only realize the benefit and blessing of our own gifts, talents, strengths, and intellect; but we are also able to realize and reap the benefits and blessings of others around us.

But, the proverb also addresses the mockers. It’s easy to read this and assume that the writer is referring to those who mock other people. Certainly, it is addressing that behavior. However, it is also referring to those of us that mock ourselves. We are mocking who God has created us to be.

Later, the same writer shares that “life and death are in the power of the tongue; those who love it will eat its fruit.” (18:21)

So, whatever we speak over ourselves, we will ingest; it will become part of us and part of our identity. What are we feeding ourselves when we constantly put ourselves down and talk negatively about ourselves to others or even (often more dangerously) in our own minds?

Now, this doesn’t all mean we should think overly highly of ourselves. Its a balance. We’re called to know ourselves and walk boldly in who we are and in our gifts, talents, strengths, and intellect; while being self-aware enough to know how dependent we really are on each other and each others’ gifts, talents, strengths, and intellect.

Let’s stop criticizing ourselves. Let’s stop beating ourselves up. Let’s stop downplaying who we are.

Instead, try the uncommon practice of calling yourself up into who you know you are; into who you’ve been designed to be. It’s refreshing and empowering not only to ourselves, but to those around us that we lead and work alongside.

 

 

Leaders: Let’s stop celebrating being “Driven”

horseA couple of years ago, someone called me out on being “Driven.” I’d been a driver of all kinds of things: change, progress, impact, results; (and of course, car loads of kids). And, I wore the adjective “Driven” as a badge of honor. A differentiator. A descriptor for my bio. I stood in it. Proudly.

My heart was honorable in it. I believed that my role was imperative. My drive and bias to action was desperately needed. Without me, “it” just wouldn’t get done. And, “it” not getting done would have dire consequences and lead to missed opportunities.

Then, literally, in what was clearly a spiritual revelation, I was called out for it.

Was I driven by some outside force that was controlling me? I thought of a horse with a bit in her mouth, controlled and manipulated by a rider insistent on his way, a spur and whip ensuring that she stays in line, doesn’t run too fast or stop to enjoy the scenery along the path. Never able to just be who she is, who she was made to be.

Side note: I really love horses and rode them frequently throughout my younger years. And, I have nothing against horseback riding — in fact, I miss it and want to get back to it at some point in my life. But, I’m not a horse; I’m a human. Designed for more and given free will and a complex, beautiful mind, and destined for a higher calling, as a human, than any other animal.

Did I want to be driven? Controlled? Harnessed? Reined in?

Heck no, I don’t want to be driven! I want to be motivated. Big difference. And, as I was being called out on it, I was called out of it, and called up to be motivated.

Motivation is the desire or willingness to do something. To pursue a mission out of my own will. To choose to give myself and my gifts to something. Or, to choose NOT to give myself and my gifts to something.

Motivation comes from a place of surrender to a different kind of leadership. Not reins and spurs, but encouragement and love and covering/protection.

I desire to pursue things that bring me life, not things that tear me down. I long to participate in things that have lasting impact and add value to the world. If I’m honest, many of the things I was previously “driven” to accomplish may have had short term impact, but often were detrimental to long term value. I was truly driven by my perception of what others expected of me, rather than where I am most alive and most truly myself.

I worked hard, often to the point of exhaustion. Then came home and worked more to make my home beautiful and to “protect” my husband and kids from having to do any of the work around the house. (Truth: it’s good to share this load, and teaches the kids valuable lessons.)

I worked long hours, often doing things that I didn’t want to “bother” others with. (Truth: others grow when we, as leaders, give them responsibility and accountability; when we entrust them with important tasks; and the surprise, so many times, others do certain tasks much better than we do!)

I rarely rested, often getting things done ahead of time so that others would be pleased and so that I’d have more capacity the next day. (Truth: I was much less productive.)

I put a lot of pressure on myself, but not much pressure on anyone else. (Truth: I was so prideful! To think that I’m the only one that can get things done, or done well! And, I had myself convinced that I was being “humble” and “serving others”…really, I was serving my own ego.)

Interestingly, many people still say I’m “driven.” I’ve started to replace that adjective with “motivated.” Honestly, there are days that I wish I had more motivation, and that I was “getting more done.” But, then I remember that He’s told me that His yoke is easy and His burden is light (Matt 11:30). Much like when I look at my kids, and I want them to be responsible and accountable, my heart wants them to have joy and peace and gentleness. People who operate “driven” rarely have joy or peace or gentleness in their lives. But, motivated people do.

It’s uncommon, and unexpected, and sometimes uncomfortable to not be the most “driven” person in the room. I’m getting used to it, and I’m seeing the fruit. Deeper relationships, a strong and capable team, kids who are learning how to be responsible adults.

Perhaps the most surprising fruit to come of this shift is the newfound gentleness with myself. Less beating myself up for not getting “this” done or “that” done.

So, what say you? Want to be driven, or motivated? It really is a choice. Choose uncommon: choose motivation, and leave the driving for the horseback riders.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Embracing the Opposites

rainbow

Sunshine and rain, when they co-exist, produce the incredible beauty of a rainbow.

The uncommon leader knows that opposites don’t exist to neutralize each other.

Being relational and good with people doesn’t neutralize her ability to be transactional and get things done.

Being “Best in Class” doesn’t limit him from being approachable.

Her creativity shines as brightly as her professionalism.

By giving knowledge away, he frees himself up to pioneer the new.

Being generous actually lifts the top off of her ability to generate profit.

He is calm in a storm, and can stir up a revolution amidst complacency.

She welcomes quiet reflection and flourishes in a crowd.

He rests deeply and works hard.

She holds strong convictions and welcomes other opinions.

He realizes joy even in times of trouble.

The uncommon leader sees and appreciates both sides of issues; sees and celebrates the individuality of others; and embraces the beauty of the extremes.

Jesus taught us this. The full expression of Truth and Grace:

14And so the Living Expression
    became a man and lived among us!
    And we gazed upon the splendor of his glory,
    the glory of the One and Only
    who came from the Father overflowing
    with tender mercy and truth!
15 John taught the truth about him
    when he announced to the people,
    “He’s the One! Set your hearts on him!
    I told you he would come after me,
    even though he ranks far above me,
    for he existed before I was even born.”
16 And now out of his fullness we are fulfilled!
    And from him we receive grace heaped upon more grace!
17 Moses gave us the Law, but Jesus, the Anointed One,
    unveils truth wrapped in tender mercy.
18 No one has ever gazed upon the fullness of God’s splendor
    except the uniquely beloved Son,
    who is cherished by the Father
    and held close to his heart.
    Now he has unfolded to us
    the full explanation of who God truly is!

John 1, from the Passion Translation

That line: ‘unveils truth wrapped in tender mercy’ is the perfect expression of the uncommon-ality of Jesus.

The truth of the narrow path is so counter to the wide road of the world.

And the endless ocean of tender mercy and grace is so counter to the judgement and accusation in our world today.

But Jesus embraced them both, as he lived a heavenly life, on earth.

When confronted with an opposite, are you tempted to choose sides? Have you defined yourself as one or the other in some area? The challenge is to consider how you might embrace the opposite. Learn from it. Let it stretch you. It’s an uncommon practice.

 

Doubt, Distraction, and Discipline

KONICA MINOLTA DIGITAL CAMERAIt’s been awhile since I’ve written.

This morning, I was once again tempted to not take some time to write while the proposals, emails, and requests were piling up. Heck, it’s my birthday today – isn’t it important to respond to all of those facebook well-wishers!?

But, I heard God calling me to spend some time with Him in the early morning, and then to give my first fruits of the day and write.

Where have you been, He asked me? I remembered the story of Adam and Eve in the garden, and I went back and read it again. The line that jumped out at me was this one:

But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?” He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.”  (Genesis 3: 9-10 NIV)

Exposed! I did it to myself! Put myself out there to be bold and risk sharing what I’ve learned and what I believe about leadership and about Jesus. And, just as soon as I got some momentum, the doubts and distractions started to come, and I went into hiding and just stopped writing. Stopped exposing myself.

I let the doubt and distraction come and cause me to doubt that my writing has any value; and that other things are so much more important.

All. Too. Common.

As I’ve been reflecting, I have realized that the anecdote to doubt and distraction for me is discipline. I don’t mean discipline: punishment or consequences, but rather discipline: good habit.

So, perhaps mostly to remind myself, what are those disciplines that keep away doubt and distraction for me?

 Focus. (as in, the opposite of multi-tasking) I’m a really good multi-tasker. That’s what I’ve told myself for years. But, I keep reading those research studies that say that when you multi-task, you really don’t accomplish more, in fact you accomplish less. The lack of focus on any one thing means that everything gets less excellence. As much as I don’t want to admit it, I know this is true for me too. Unfortunately, in our jobs and families, its oh-so-common to wear the badge of “multi-tasker extraordinaire.” We congratulate ourselves for getting “so much done,” and often only later realize that we didn’t do much of anything very well. Focus for me looks like list making, prioritizing, calendaring, and then sticking to one priority at a time. I’ve fallen out of the practice of focus, and I am feeling the consequences of it.  Psalm 16:8 is so clear:  I keep my eyes always on the Lord. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken

Rest. (rest in order to build up the strength be my best, rather than rest because I collapse from exhaustion) This is a just a vicious cycle. I stay up late and get up early because I have “so much to do.” The truth is that rest prepares me. It gives me strength and energy. An extra hour of sleep or a nap probably makes every hour of the day twice as productive. But, I starve myself from rest and then wonder why I’m too tired to be productive. Again, the Psalmist David reminds me: In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat— for he grants sleep to those he loves. (Psalm 127:2) I need the discipline of rest to fuel me for the strength to guard against doubt and distraction.

Good nutrition. (not just the food I put in my body, but how I feed my soul and my heart and my mind) What I put into my body and my mind has a significant impact on keeping away doubt and distraction. The discipline to think carefully about what music I listen to; what news stories I read; who I talk to/spend time with, what I eat and drink is oddly difficult. This one should be easy, but I know I’m not alone in my struggle here. Philippians 4:8 says Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

The Greek origin of “think” here is logizomai; translated as “reckon, count, decide”. So, whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, praiseworthy, I should decide to listen to/take in those things. As in, not other things. Have you ever listened to the words of popular music? Have you ever mindlessly sung along, and then actually listened to the words you just proclaimed – not just listening to them, but actually singing them out!? When I’m trolling through radio stations and listening to and/or talking about crazy new stories, something in me starts to wither and become distracted by all of the mess in the world; or by comparison to some perfect love song, or riled up because someone else’s complaining or gossiping touches on some past hurt. When I eat fast food (clearly not pure), I feel “ick”. Now, I’m not a whole food purist by any stretch of the imagination, I’m simply realizing that what I put into my heart, mind and body can either lead me to feel good about myself and about my life, or can lead me to a pretty rotten place where doubt and distraction run rampant.

Relationship. (with God, with my husband, with my kids, with my girlfriends, with my mentors and mentees – with those among whom I am known) One last discipline for me is around relationships: who I spend time with. For me, and likely for many of us, spending time with people who KNOW me helps to guard against doubt and distraction. Those who know me best tend to speak life into me. Through their direct words about me or to me, or through the impact and connection I have with them, I can see my value. They help me remember that loving people is the most rewarding and fulfilling thing I can do. That reward and fulfillment pushes back distraction. For me, the relationships that I tend to most easily lose track of are friends, mentors and mentees, and as a result, I’m missing out on letting those that know me speak into my worth and the value of me simply being ‘me.’

It’s all too common for us to let doubt and distraction take over. The uncommon leader is uncommonly disciplined around focus, rest, good nutrition and relationships. How are you doing on these?

I’m committing to work on getting back to these disciplines. Focus are Relationships are the most lacking for me right now. And, I pray that the fruit will be uncommon. I’ll covet your prayers and encouragement, too.

Embrace the discipline that you most need, and let’s be uncommon!

The Misconception behind “Proactivity”

proactiveAlmost every leader I’ve met wants to grow in their ability to influence and impact others — essentially to drive change. (Incidentally, so much of leadership is really about helping people change: for example: to a new way of doing things, to a new way of thinking, to a new standard of excellence)

In this post, I’ll share the last of 3 frameworks that can enable you to grow as a leader that is able to create positive change.

  1. Up and to the Right (see previous post here)
  2. Start Inside the Tent (see previous post here)
  3. The Hierarchy of Proactivity

The Misconception of “Proactivity”

The word “proactivity” is one of those over-used, and therefore broadly interpreted words, like “innovation” and “strategy” and so many other once-new buzzwords. Yet, in countless situations, learning to get ahead of the curve, foresee the future need of a client, customer, boss or multi-functional business partner is often expected, and always needed to create sustainable change.

Proactivity: Initiating change to address anticipated needs.

Proactivity happens when we anticipate a need that stakeholders likely don’t see, and we initiate change to address it. When we address needs even before they are fully felt, we can create sustainable positive change, often ahead of the market, and create the conditions for growth beyond today’s ceiling. Proactivity is a good thing!

But, there is a common misunderstanding of what’s needed in order to deliver against needs proactively.

Maslow’s hierarchy teaches that certain foundational needs must be met before we can realize higher order needs. Similarly, there is a hierarchy of proactivity. We must address the foundation, and then work our way up.

The Hierarchy of Proactivity:

Screen Shot 2018-03-13 at 7.54.49 AM

The Zero Level of Proactivity is: Doing what is expected of you.

This simple requirement often gets skipped over. It’s not sexy. It feels inconsequential. But, it forms a foundation of trust that can’t be underestimated. As agents for change, we are expected to model good grammar and spelling; follow through on commitments (including showing up on time and being prepared for meetings); and responding to emails or other messages in a timely manner, among other things. When a leader fails to deliver on these basic expectations, trust is eroded. Importantly, the need to deliver on the Zero Level of Proactivity doesn’t go away as you grow in the scope of your work or the impact you can have. In fact, it becomes more important, as it must be an even stronger foundation for that growth.

Are you delivering, consistently, on what’s expected of you? Is your team delivering on what’s expected of them? Can others count on you to do “the basics”?

The First Level of Proactivity: Delivering on known, articulated needs.

Next, in order to earn the opportunity to create positive change, we must address needs that others have articulated to us. These may come in the form of a formal request or brief, or they may become apparent in conversation and interaction with our stakeholders. Many of us are anxious to “add value” beyond the stated goal or need, and we gloss over this critical element. As we build trust with others in areas where we want to create positive change, delivering on articulated needs creates a connection and a trust that you as a leader understand, care about and want to address known needs. When we are doing this well, we win repeat business with clients or customers. We earn the respect and trust of those we are working with. We earn the opportunity to lead change because we’ve proven that we are capable of understanding and providing solutions to known challenges and needs.

Are you delivering what you’ve been asked to deliver in a request or brief? Do others repeatedly articulate what they need to you? 

The Second Level of Proactivity: Delivering on anticipated needs.

Once we’ve delivered on basic expectations, and addressed known needs, we’ve earned the opportunity to deliver against things that stakeholders don’t yet realize they need. This is where real change leadership can happen. We are anticipating future needs, engaging stakeholders to see the need, and then addressing it.

Too often, this is our starting point.

And then we get frustrated that whatever we’re trying to do doesn’t seem to work.

Perhaps we can see a market shift coming, and we want to be ahead of it and protect our client or customer from losing share in the market. Or we can see a new set of skills emerging that will be needed for folks to be successful, and we want to ensure they are building those skills well ahead of the need.

One of my favorite books on leadership is “The Leadership Challenge” by Jim Kouzes and Barry Posner. I love this line in the book:

Leadership is the art of mobilizing others to want to struggle for shared aspirations.”

Pioneering leaders see a market need ahead of others. Uncommon leaders not only see the need, but then take the time to build the foundational trust needed to move others to struggle for a new aspiration. [Importantly, the uncommon leader casts a vision for this aspiration in a way that engages others so that it becomes the shared aspiration that Kouzes & Posner refer to. More on the topics of vision and engagement in a future post.] 

Creating change always requires struggle. It requires stakeholders to forge through established habits, practices, thinking patterns, and beliefs with us in order to start and then sustain new habits, mindsets or skills.

Are you trying to create change and feeling frustrated with the results? Use the Hierarchy of Proactivity to assess whether you need to prioritize building trust by delivering on the basics and addressing known needs.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why it’s Better to Stand Inside the Tent and Piss Out…

tentAlmost every leader I’ve met wants to grow in their ability to influence and impact others — essentially to drive change. (Incidentally, so much of leadership is really about helping people change: for example: to a new way of doing things, to a new way of thinking, to a new standard of excellence)

In this post, I’ll share the second of 3 frameworks that can enable you to grow as a leader that is able to create positive change.

    1. Up and to the Right (see previous post here)
    2. Start Inside the Tent
    3. The Hierarchy of Proactivity

 

 

Start Inside the Tent

One of my favorite bosses always encouraged my propensity to take on big initiatives to drive organizational change. He was not only a champion, but seemed to have an endless supply of helpful analogs to teach important leadership lessons. One day, in his sometimes-dry British accent he said “Ann, if you want to get people to change, you’ve got to stand inside the tent and piss out. Don’t stand outside the tent and piss in!”

After a good chuckle, I began to reflect on this important lesson.

I thought about times when I, or someone I was working with, was not successful in creating sustainable change. In almost every case, I saw evidence of condescending, almost judgmental thinking, language and attitude.

  • Senior leaders who were fairly removed from the day to day work asking for change to a process or approach
  • High priced consultants suggesting overhauls of organizational design without a working knowledge of an organization’s current or desired culture
  • Educators teaching rote, outdated material designed for the previous generation of students

Case after case in my own educational and career history, even in situations where my husband and I were trying to create change within our family, that this “Let me tell you how it should be” approach just didn’t create change that lasted beyond the scope of diligent oversight.

In cases of successful, sustainable change — change that lasted beyond the leader’s oversight, I realized that I could hardly distinguish the person trying to create the change from the team they were changing. When it worked, the change agent had ingrained themselves into the team. They created change from the inside out. They went “inside the tent” of the folks they were trying to influence and impact.

And I began to more deliberately practice this principle.

When we want to create change that lasts:

  • A new process or approach that saves time or money, or is more effective or healthy, but requires the organization to break out of a habit
  • A new attitude or mindset that replaces fixed thinking (this seems to especially be true when trying to change negative attitudes or mindsets into positive ones)
  • Healthy habits that fully replace unhealthy ones

We have to get “in the tent.” Some of the most successful exercise programs are led by trainers who work out right alongside their students. 

It’s a tricky balance. We’re not talking about “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em!”, we’re talking about being “in it,” but not “of it.” It’s almost a bit of undercover work. And there are some principles to follow to successfully implement this.

  1. Know your starting point. Ever typed an address into Google maps and tried to figure out how to get there, without specifying your starting point? Even if you’re an expert map reader, you are always considering your starting point in order to determine the route you need to take. Take the time to assess where your organization is before you start trying to move it in a new direction. What is the culture like? How engaged is the team? How much experience do individual team members have with the current approach or process you are changing?
  2. Build trust. Usually the biggest antidote to change is fear. Trust dismantles fear. When the organization trusts you, they will move in new directions that suddenly don’t feel as risky as they would have with someone they trust less. Trust happens when we join them “in the tent” with the team. I love this BRAVING acronym that highlights the key elements of trust from Brene Brown. Which elements of trust are missing or less well developed in your organization — between team members and between you as the leader and each of your team members?
  3. Equip the team. The second thing that dismantles fear is equipping. When we teach new skills, share knowledge and provide resources for our organizations, they are equipped to move into something new. What skills, knowledge and resources do you and the team need to move forward?
  4. Walk ahead and clear the road. Change always seems to be met with barriers and obstacles. As you are walking through change with an organization, you’re bound to encounter them. The uncommon leader walks a step ahead and knocks the barriers down to clear the path. What’s getting in the way of your organization? Hierarchy, other priorities, senior leaders who have their own fears or entrenched thinking? Look for them, and work ahead of the team to eliminate the bottlenecks they cause.
  5. Celebrate with them. As an organization changes and grows, it’s critical to celebrate the wins and encourage more of the new thinking and new application that you’re seeing. The common leader says “I told you so” as teams realize success, but the uncommon leader encourages and affirms the organization.  What wins can you celebrate with your organization? How can you move the focus off of your leadership and onto your team?

Next time you want to create change, ask yourself if you’re trying to change it from the outside, and consider stepping inside the tent. It’s the uncommon approach, but one that consistently produces growth.

The Virtuous Cycle of Moving Up and to the Right

metaAlmost every leader I’ve met wants to grow in their ability to influence and impact others — essentially to drive change. (Incidentally, so much of leadership is really about helping people change: for example: to a new way of doing things, to a new way of thinking, to a new standard of excellence)

In the next few posts, I’ll share 3 frameworks that can enable you to grow as a leader that is able to create positive change.

  1. Up and to the Right
  2. Start Inside the Tent
  3. The Hierarchy of Proactivity

Up and to the Right is the direction we all want to grow. It’s the direction we all want our teams to grow.

For each of us and for our teams, our leadership or our work has a given amount of strategic value, and we each have a scope of responsibility (or sphere of influence).

up and to the right 1As we grow, we want to increase the amount of strategic value we deliver, and grow the scope or sphere of our influence. Essentially, we want to move up and to the right.

up and to the right 2But, how do we do this? As we ask our teams to be more strategic and have more influence/impact across a broader scope or sphere, how do we enable them? Essentially, we are trying to take on more work across a broader set of stakeholders. Doesn’t this feel like the mantra of most businesses today — do more with the same resources, if not fewer resources? Ouch. This isn’t easy. Something has to give.

The key here is to shift our focus up and to the right as well. We have to move our starting point. This isn’t as easy as it sounds, but let’s break it down.

Step 1: Identify which elements of your work are of less strategic value to your stakeholders, and have a more limited scope/impact.

up and to the right 3Step 2: Assess those tasks through a few key questions:

  1. Is this task still delivering value to our stakeholders? If the answer is no, simply stop doing it. If the answer is yes, move on to the next question.
  2. Could this task be completed by someone else (internally or externally) efficiently and effectively? Think through the actual cost you or your team are incurring (including the cost of your/their salary) to complete the work. It may be much more efficient to outsource this work, or delegate it to others, even if you have to train or equip others in some way. If it can’t be completed by someone else internally or externally, move on to question 3.
  3. Could I (my team) complete this task more efficiently than we are today? If yes, implement the plan needed to put a more efficient approach in place. If no, this may be a task you need to retain.

Going through this process should enable you to free up the mental and physical capacity to take on new work and have more strategic impact.

up and to the right 4

A few important side notes:

  • If you’re an entrepreneur, spotting industries or capability areas where companies are trying to shift up and to the right highlights a great business opportunity! Work that others are ready to delegate or do more efficiently has led to the inception of many businesses. Virtual assistants. Automated response systems. Call centers. All of these are businesses that allowed some other company and or set of individuals to move up and to the right. It’s a virtuous cycle!
  • Companies that make this northeast shift do so successfully because they clearly understand their stakeholders and their team. They take the time to listen, observe and assess both the needs and talents of those on their team and the articulated, as well as the unarticulated, needs of stakeholders. This depth of understanding allows them to define the new focus for the work, identify the less important work, and fully utilize the talent on their teams.
  • Healthy things grow. If you’re not moving up and to the right, you might not be growing in a sustainable way. In other words, you might be growing now, but that growth will at some point stagnate or begin to erode.

So, why the butterfly visual at the beginning of this post?

Did you know, when a caterpillar goes into the cocoon, along the journey to becoming a butterfly, it’s entire body disintegrates before it re-forms into a new creation. How amazing is this! And, so many lessons for us as leaders.

I often think of this amazing work of nature when I’m thinking about leading change. We have to get rid of the old to make room for the new. That’s essentially what we’re doing when we move up and to the right. And in the cycle, we create room for other new life (new businesses that can do the work we’re moving away from, but still need).

It’s a virtuous cycle. As an uncommon leader, boldly moving into new territory means courageously shedding what was, for the goal of what can be.

Culture of Dependence

In many (most?) organizations, especially in the white-collar world of MBAs, aspirational C-suite roles, and fat paychecks, individuals work hard to prove themselves, earn their way to the front of the line for promotions and salary increases and generally compare themselves to each other.

It’s a culture of individual heroics. Each person generally looking out for his or her own good. Even those of us in leadership positions with altruistic desires can fall into this trap. We lead others to be great, but want to be seen as the true greatness behind our teams.

In a culture of individual heroics, trust between co-workers, especially at a peer level, is thin. Relationships are consumerist (think “trade”: if you do this for me, I’ll do that for you; if you don’t do this for me, I won’t do that for you) rather than covenants (think “pact”: we’re in this together and I’ll pick up the slack when you can’t; you’ll back me up when I need help). And, results are limited by the how much each individual is willing to give or share with the organization.

Now, this is a pretty “American” idea. Apple pie, fireworks and INDEPENDENCE. We love being independent.

How many of us have been on a sports team of some sort with a bunch of players who each want to be the hero? Or even with one player who is the hero? How does it make us feel, if we aren’t that hero? Bitter, frustrated, un-valued, unable to grow/develop/practice? How does it impact the team? Can they ever perform their best if one person is hogging the ball all the time? It’s easy to see how this phenomenon effects sports teams. Individual heroics bring the team performance down significantly, drags down other players, and really doesn’t allow even the star talent to perform his or her best because they often are unable to accept support from others on the team, lest it make them look incapable.

Uncommon leadership creates, nurtures and operates a culture of dependence rather than a culture of individual heroics.

Sports teams with long-standing win streaks know this and operate this way, but very few organizations operate this way.

Truth be told, it’s counter-cultural to be dependent on others in most professional careers. However, it’s one of the keys to success of most of the best leaders I know, and certainly one of the keys to sustainable success for your team or organization.

Side Note: A culture of dependence is the functional way to achieve a “flat organization.” The flat organization has been the topic of countless books, articles and discussions. Many believe it means that everyone in the organization reports directly to the CEO. No hierarchy. If you’ve ever been a part of an organization that defines “flat organization” this way, you know it is a hot mess. The CEO doesn’t have them time to coach and develop each person, there is little direction because he or she is stretched too thin, and generally speaking, individuals aren’t growing because they don’t have the opportunity to learn from those just a few steps ahead of them and because the organization is often not growing healthily enough to provide opportunities for career progression.

Ego is a difficult thing to manage. As leaders, we have to keep our egos “in check.” We have to recognize that we are nothing without our teams and without those that we are following, learning from and dependent on.

Uncommon leaders get this. They seek mentors and coaches to learn from, be held accountable to, and depend on for wisdom and new thinking. They see and call up the skills and talents of the folks on their team. They “sit the bench” when someone more qualified or gifted is better suited for a specific project or task.

And, importantly, they nurture dependence across their teams. They set an expectation of dependence, and don’t tolerate individual heroics. They make the hard calls when team members are operating as individual heroes too consistently. They’re self-aware enough to recognize when they slip into egoistic mode: they quickly apologize, make amends and course-correct.

The result is strong, thriving teams and organizations, made up of individuals who are flourishing in their roles, and business that is growing healthily.

If you want to grow your team in this direction, my encouragement is start with yourself.

1. Begin to recognize how dependent you actually are. On people who have helped you get where you are today. On people who breath encouragement and love to you. On those who do the work you’re not qualified, over qualified or not interested in doing. On the ONE that gives you breath and life and the very talents that seem to come so naturally to you.

2. Deliberately look for mentors and coaches that you can learn from, be accountable to and depend on. Find 2-3 individuals whose leadership you think you can learn from and invest in those relationships. Submit yourself and some of your decisions to their scrutiny and wisdom. Consult them regularly. Confess to them when you make a bad decision and seek their counsel, especially when you feel yourself going into “ego” mode.

3. Share openly with your team that you are working on this aspect of your character. Often this will produce immediate change across your team. Your self-awareness inspires them to look at the same aspects of their own character.

Uncommon leaders are uncommon, at least in part, because they recognize their dependence and boldly operate as non-independent heroes.